[mamaplus2kids]

There was a six-month period following my separation from my XAH, during which I was lonely but happy. If I was alone, it was because I chose to be alone. Now, I think that I am alone because the person whom I love would prefer to smoke his dope and drink with his friends than be with me, and it hurts. In the three years we've been together, we have never spent an entire weekend together. He gets fidgety and needs to leave to go work, etc. He's self-employed, so he works at odd hours.

Apart from the fact that he spends so little time with us, he is a good listener, he's kind, gentle, and has never asked for money. We don't live together, so I don't witness his using. And I've set the boundary that I don't want him drunk or high in the house, which he respects. It's just that I feel he's more of a part-time boyfriend--or lover-- than a partner.