Oh MrsMagoo,
I'd have to say I had all the same feelings for AH after he left 3 yrs ago, and honestly those feelings lasted and went back and forth for a long time. I dreamed of us being back together after his first year gone. He went through an outpatient treatment. And after 1 1/2yrs I knew we wouldn't be back together, nothing had changed with him, and I greived. I am still recovering from grief, going through therapy. Thankfully the point you are at passes, but it will take time, God, support and therapy. Thankfully you are seeing a therapist.
I know how difficult it is to see your AH this way. So sad. Please don't make any hasty decisions with him when the compassion pity feelings come, just let the feelings come, pray and let them pass. There will be many mixed feelings come and go. But soon you will feel sane and stable again. Your heart has been broken and it will be healed.
