hi there.... i know what you're going through. every month, i get through my rx of 120 of 10mg's in just under a week... then i withdrawl, and it's horrible. then i go buy stronger ones off of someone... then find another doctor. then i withdrawl again... it's the worst feeling ever.
however, it sounds as though your desire to stop is really strong. i called around and found a couple of doctors that provide medical care for getting off, and my appt is tomorrow morning.
let me know if you need to chat, i'm going through the same thing.