|
Thanks for all of the replies. I think I know in the back of my head I can't magically cure her, and that I need to focus on myself. But it definitely helps to hear that from you all, because it is hard to accept.
Something interesting happened last night. She was in a definite "drunken" state most of the evening (again... not from alcohol but from Xyrem and/or something else). I withdrew, browsed around this site, and made my post. She went to bed the same time I did (usually she doesn't) and she said "do you want to have sex real quick" (I think Xyrem increases sex drive). I told her "no, I'm tired". My body definitely wouldn't have minded, but I don't like having sex with an over-medicated person.
She then asked why we are married. I told her because I love her. She said it doesn't seem like I want to be with her and that I'd probably be happier with someone else. I told her I love her, but she has been acting erratic all night and so I was doing some work on my computer. I probably could have phrased it better... but I was just trying to be honest without referring to substance abuse or anything like that.
The discussion wasn't much more than that... I think she cried a little bit and then went back downstairs. To be honest I felt more happy than sad. I couldn't console her... I guess because I didn't see any reason to. That said, I don't expect anything magic to have occurred overnight, and in all likelihood we'll pretend like nothing happened. But I hope it starts some sort of improvement, either to my happiness or both of ours.
Though, I did happen to notice that 2 of 3 xyrem bottles were in the trash, and the last one is empty. I checked up on how full they were earlier in the week, and I think the rest of it may have been used up much faster than I expected. Or, she dumped it. Either way, that means it is gone about 2 weeks sooner than it should be.
One note about the narcolepsy medication. Narcolepsy isn't necessarily all about having bouts of sleepiness. The root problem is that they don't get enough restful or deep sleep. So, the medicine helps with that. And that is why I have a hard time tolerating her taking the medicine at any time other than 5 minutes before bedtime.
-Tyler
|