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Tyler312 · 11-13-2009, 10:21 PM

Hello,
I've been lurking here for a while... always trying to find help for my problem but never quite brave enough to post. I've read through various posts, including the "10 Ways Family Members Can Help Loved Ones With Drug and Alcohol Problems" post. I'm not quite sure where to start with my wife.

Long story short, she "lightly abuses" prescription drugs that she is prescribed. She has some valid medical problems, but uses the drugs that are *supposed* to help those problems in what I believe to be more recreational ways. It is frustrating, alters her behavior, and quite frankly, I can't handle it.

I work a full-time job with decent insurance. I have a flexible spending account, so I pay for all of the prescription drugs, which is usually at least $2,500 for the year. The recent prescrpition, Xyrem (see below) is much more expensive. She has paid for it this year. But my flexible spending account needs to be reviewed... If I tried to cover everything next year, I'd likely have to set aside $4000-5000. So I anticipate a "discussion" about how it is being paid.

This gets to the "10 ways..." advice thread. I feel like I am aiding her abuse of prescription drugs but paying for it all. But I have no idea how to constructively not pay or change "this arrangement" without being unproductive and starting an argument. Do I simply refuse to pay for some or all of it? I get stuck on the fact that the reason why I do not want to pay is because of the suspected abuse.

*** Here is some detail about our history and the "abuse".... feel free to skip ***

She has had sleep and tiredness issues and been prescribed various drugs since I met her 8 years ago. She is a nurse, and one thing (my opinion) about her treatment of medicines is that she thinks there is a pill for everything. Nausea, take this. Sleepy, take that. Need some sleep, here, take this.

Early on, we used to smoke weed. For me it was a little bit of fun in the evening, but something I did not want to do every night. For her, it was more of an escape. After a while, it started disappearing faster. Years later she commented that she used it to "escape" rather than go to school.

A few years later, she was prescribed Adderall for her tiredness issues. It really helped her in school, and it seemed to be beneficial. Through the years, her dose increased higher and higher, until now where she is basically maxed out. She can take that dose and still be tired throughout the day.

Earlier this year, she started seeing a sleep doctor. He diagnosed her with narcolepsy. The treatment is Xyrem. Apparently not many people (including doctors) know what that is, but it is aka GHB or "the date rape drug". It basically makes you get good, restful sleep. The doctor starts you on a small dose, and over a few months increases it to the "correct" level. The instructions are to take one dose at bedtime, set an alarm for 4-hours later, and take a second dose. The second dose is needed because it is basically out of your system in 4 hours.

When she started the Xyrem, she followed the instructions for all of a day or two. Then she seemed to start taking it early in the evening and spending the next hour drowsily stumbling all over the place before eventually passing out. She seemed odd, like it made her try to be productive but still sleepy.

After it started, I was extremely agitated and I fueled the fire a bit. Eventually we had an argument about it and she claimed she was "trying to find the correct dose" and "I have no idea how she feels". In my mind, that doesn't change the fact that she didn't seem interested in taking it to help her sleep... aka right before bed.

I'm now starting to think she is mixing Xyrem and Adderall (but that is my opinion). It is like she'll get almost drunk, but not from alcohol. Very talkative and "happy". But, eventually in a couple of hours, sleepy.

The Xyrem also seems to disappear fast.... it is delivered once a month, and I think she runs out a week or two before the next delivery. I like it when she runs out... she acts more normal

A few other continual things that happen through all this is over-using benadryl (in one instance 100 pills in a few days... coincidentally when she ran out of Xyrem), over-using Tussinex (prescribed for cold, contains vicodin... disappears much faster than it should), I *think* excessive Robitussin use, but I am not sure about that one. I know I have bought her 5 bottles in the last month, which is more than I would have used in the last few years.

I tend to brush things aside, which is why I have been lurking for a while. But this is really bothering me. Especially when I feel like I don't want to be with my wife anymore. The thoughts are there because of her behavior... hence me being here.

Anyway... sorry for the long post. Any tips or threads with similar advice?

11-13-2009, 10:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tyler312 Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54	Need help finally confronting wife.... Hello, I've been lurking here for a while... always trying to find help for my problem but never quite brave enough to post. I've read through various posts, including the "10 Ways Family Members Can Help Loved Ones With Drug and Alcohol Problems" post. I'm not quite sure where to start with my wife. Long story short, she "lightly abuses" prescription drugs that she is prescribed. She has some valid medical problems, but uses the drugs that are supposed to help those problems in what I believe to be more recreational ways. It is frustrating, alters her behavior, and quite frankly, I can't handle it. I work a full-time job with decent insurance. I have a flexible spending account, so I pay for all of the prescription drugs, which is usually at least $2,500 for the year. The recent prescrpition, Xyrem (see below) is much more expensive. She has paid for it this year. But my flexible spending account needs to be reviewed... If I tried to cover everything next year, I'd likely have to set aside $4000-5000. So I anticipate a "discussion" about how it is being paid. This gets to the "10 ways..." advice thread. I feel like I am aiding her abuse of prescription drugs but paying for it all. But I have no idea how to constructively not pay or change "this arrangement" without being unproductive and starting an argument. Do I simply refuse to pay for some or all of it? I get stuck on the fact that the reason why I do not want to pay is because of the suspected abuse. * Here is some detail about our history and the "abuse".... feel free to skip * She has had sleep and tiredness issues and been prescribed various drugs since I met her 8 years ago. She is a nurse, and one thing (my opinion) about her treatment of medicines is that she thinks there is a pill for everything. Nausea, take this. Sleepy, take that. Need some sleep, here, take this. Early on, we used to smoke weed. For me it was a little bit of fun in the evening, but something I did not want to do every night. For her, it was more of an escape. After a while, it started disappearing faster. Years later she commented that she used it to "escape" rather than go to school. A few years later, she was prescribed Adderall for her tiredness issues. It really helped her in school, and it seemed to be beneficial. Through the years, her dose increased higher and higher, until now where she is basically maxed out. She can take that dose and still be tired throughout the day. Earlier this year, she started seeing a sleep doctor. He diagnosed her with narcolepsy. The treatment is Xyrem. Apparently not many people (including doctors) know what that is, but it is aka GHB or "the date rape drug". It basically makes you get good, restful sleep. The doctor starts you on a small dose, and over a few months increases it to the "correct" level. The instructions are to take one dose at bedtime, set an alarm for 4-hours later, and take a second dose. The second dose is needed because it is basically out of your system in 4 hours. When she started the Xyrem, she followed the instructions for all of a day or two. Then she seemed to start taking it early in the evening and spending the next hour drowsily stumbling all over the place before eventually passing out. She seemed odd, like it made her try to be productive but still sleepy. After it started, I was extremely agitated and I fueled the fire a bit. Eventually we had an argument about it and she claimed she was "trying to find the correct dose" and "I have no idea how she feels". In my mind, that doesn't change the fact that she didn't seem interested in taking it to help her sleep... aka right before bed. I'm now starting to think she is mixing Xyrem and Adderall (but that is my opinion). It is like she'll get almost drunk, but not from alcohol. Very talkative and "happy". But, eventually in a couple of hours, sleepy. The Xyrem also seems to disappear fast.... it is delivered once a month, and I think she runs out a week or two before the next delivery. I like it when she runs out... she acts more normal A few other continual things that happen through all this is over-using benadryl (in one instance 100 pills in a few days... coincidentally when she ran out of Xyrem), over-using Tussinex (prescribed for cold, contains vicodin... disappears much faster than it should), I think excessive Robitussin use, but I am not sure about that one. I know I have bought her 5 bottles in the last month, which is more than I would have used in the last few years. I tend to brush things aside, which is why I have been lurking for a while. But this is really bothering me. Especially when I feel like I don't want to be with my wife anymore. The thoughts are there because of her behavior... hence me being here. Anyway... sorry for the long post. Any tips or threads with similar advice?