| Gratitude
It undoubtably helps to not feel like drinking when you have that attitude of gratitude. When the gratitude for being sober and your life in general diminishes then the thought of indulging in something, which by all accounts is your favourite activity in the universe bar none (remember there is a fine line between love and hate) ie- getting blitzed, becomes a very strong one in which the ego/alcoholic mind screams at you that you deserve it and you only live once so why deny yourself that gratification that you so desire. Of course it is a lie as no sooner do you indulge then sooner or later you will be reminiscing about how the sober life with it's even keel rather than peaks and troughs was the correct one.
I am finding that not discounting the possibility that one day in the future I will be able to indulge is helping me stay sober One day at a time and I am sure that if that day in the future never arrives then i will still be sober.
I am just gonna try and chill out more about things again and try to let them be without thinking too deeply about what may or may not happen. What I am feeling at the moment is a very strange overall body feeling to do with my self or something, it is a feeling that I cannot describe in words or explain to anyone kind of like a very profound acid trip in which no words can describe what you were feeling either.
Peace and Love xxx
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