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Savsy · 11-08-2009, 12:51 AM

Soo, I was super excited I got a job, I was doing well in school, just overall doing well. But most of all I was finally going to move out. When I graduated from the program I was in last year the staff always said to me, I should never go home. But there was nothing else for me, I couldn't get a job, my province doesn't have many halfway houses, my parents aren't really physically abusive, and I'm 17. So I decided to go home, get a job and move out right away. Definitly didn't happen. As sooon as I came home things went back to waht they were before. After my parents promising they had changed and that they went to counsiling ( I later found out they never went once). I get home, and apply everywhere for jobs and look and look forever. I finally get hired. So I'm all excited I finally have a way out. I start looking at places, making plans to room with a friend. Then my manager decides to hire another staff, so now I won't be getting enough hours to be able to afford being on my own. I asked my boss to give me as many hours as he could. When he hired me he said around 20-25, now he's saying 8-10 at most. I've been in contact with many resources to see if theres anywhere I could go. But unless I'm in imediate danger, or using, theres nothing for me. It's sad but honeslty, my parents are my biggest trigger. I'm trying soooooo hard to stay clean. But lately I've startedd thinking, that maybe now that I have a job, I can actually afford to use again, I won't have to steal from people. I know that's so not true. But part of me wants to go back. It's so much easier being at home then. I don't have to feel like I'm walking on egg shells, my mood doesn't depend on someone else. I don't have to worry about everything being perfect. I can just be like **** it, and get soo high that it doesn't matter what they do, they can't hurt me. Anyways sorry I just needed to get that out.

11-08-2009, 12:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
Savsy Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 15	My parents. Soo, I was super excited I got a job, I was doing well in school, just overall doing well. But most of all I was finally going to move out. When I graduated from the program I was in last year the staff always said to me, I should never go home. But there was nothing else for me, I couldn't get a job, my province doesn't have many halfway houses, my parents aren't really physically abusive, and I'm 17. So I decided to go home, get a job and move out right away. Definitly didn't happen. As sooon as I came home things went back to waht they were before. After my parents promising they had changed and that they went to counsiling ( I later found out they never went once). I get home, and apply everywhere for jobs and look and look forever. I finally get hired. So I'm all excited I finally have a way out. I start looking at places, making plans to room with a friend. Then my manager decides to hire another staff, so now I won't be getting enough hours to be able to afford being on my own. I asked my boss to give me as many hours as he could. When he hired me he said around 20-25, now he's saying 8-10 at most. I've been in contact with many resources to see if theres anywhere I could go. But unless I'm in imediate danger, or using, theres nothing for me. It's sad but honeslty, my parents are my biggest trigger. I'm trying soooooo hard to stay clean. But lately I've startedd thinking, that maybe now that I have a job, I can actually afford to use again, I won't have to steal from people. I know that's so not true. But part of me wants to go back. It's so much easier being at home then. I don't have to feel like I'm walking on egg shells, my mood doesn't depend on someone else. I don't have to worry about everything being perfect. I can just be like **** it, and get soo high that it doesn't matter what they do, they can't hurt me. Anyways sorry I just needed to get that out.