SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - oxy addication

supportforme · 11-07-2009, 06:05 PM

My AH keeps telling me that he's depressed. He needs time to clear his head. I'm trying to support his recovery; however, when I see him so depressed, I suspect that he has relapsed. I feel as though he doesn't want to be here. When I found out about his affair in August, I told him I wanted a divorce and she could have him. He begged and pleaded and finally admitted to an addiction. I love him and we have young children - he was so sincere about his regrets then. Now, he seems so depressed all the time. I've told him that maybe he needs to get away and we should seperate so he can recover and figure out what he wants. He gets upset and tells me he wants his wife and children - he's just depressed. He blames his affair on the addiction. However, there is the fact that something was missing for him in our marriage. Problem is he had an affair with a woman that is very different and any sensible person would think he was crazy (Other woman: 43 year old, single, go-go dancer who knowingly had an affair with a married man... Me: 36 yr old mother of 2, Vice President Major Financial Institution, probably would have been justified in having an affair - but never did.) There's a part of me that thinks he's only trying to be with me, because that's the sane thing and how could anyone want the other life that almost destroyed his family. After 13 nights of working and hearing how depressed he is and how much he misses his family, my AH was finally off yesterday. He went up to woods to hunt He comes home and keeps asking what's the matter. Truly, I'm starting to let go and I just enjoyed my evening with the kids. I need to let things take their course. But, he seems so miserable. We talk and he just tells me he doesn't know what to do - I offer to help. Nothing. Is this normal? Could he be in recovery and still be so depressed or am I kidding myself and he's back on the pills and his guilt makes him want to avoid us? I've asked him all of this. He says no but you all know I don't believe a word out of his mouth.

11-07-2009, 06:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
supportforme Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 30	oxy addication - recovering & depression? My AH keeps telling me that he's depressed. He needs time to clear his head. I'm trying to support his recovery; however, when I see him so depressed, I suspect that he has relapsed. I feel as though he doesn't want to be here. When I found out about his affair in August, I told him I wanted a divorce and she could have him. He begged and pleaded and finally admitted to an addiction. I love him and we have young children - he was so sincere about his regrets then. Now, he seems so depressed all the time. I've told him that maybe he needs to get away and we should seperate so he can recover and figure out what he wants. He gets upset and tells me he wants his wife and children - he's just depressed. He blames his affair on the addiction. However, there is the fact that something was missing for him in our marriage. Problem is he had an affair with a woman that is very different and any sensible person would think he was crazy (Other woman: 43 year old, single, go-go dancer who knowingly had an affair with a married man... Me: 36 yr old mother of 2, Vice President Major Financial Institution, probably would have been justified in having an affair - but never did.) There's a part of me that thinks he's only trying to be with me, because that's the sane thing and how could anyone want the other life that almost destroyed his family. After 13 nights of working and hearing how depressed he is and how much he misses his family, my AH was finally off yesterday. He went up to woods to hunt He comes home and keeps asking what's the matter. Truly, I'm starting to let go and I just enjoyed my evening with the kids. I need to let things take their course. But, he seems so miserable. We talk and he just tells me he doesn't know what to do - I offer to help. Nothing. Is this normal? Could he be in recovery and still be so depressed or am I kidding myself and he's back on the pills and his guilt makes him want to avoid us? I've asked him all of this. He says no but you all know I don't believe a word out of his mouth.