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reata · 11-07-2009, 05:58 AM

I left.

We started dating in high school, married 23 years, 2 children, a home, a business -- more than half my life and I left.

Years of verbal abuse, anger, an affair, lies, and a insane emotional roller coaster ride but I never found the confidence and kept thinking it was me
and my insufficiency that caused his unhappiness in life and he fueled
that fire in me.

I left because it was clear for me to see how it was hurting my teenage daughter. I was clear for me to see that in order for daughter to have a healthy foundation in her relationships in life, I needed to set an example.

I got us both in therapy and am trying to get healthy for her today but am working on it becoming for me.

I've never known a life without the insanity so that is my normal.

I want to go running back, I still love him but his messages to me are not
ones of love. He spoke to me last night and wants to get a divorce as he
has "needs" and doesn't like this being alone thing and needs to get
on with his life to find a "bed" partner.

He needs for me to loosen up, have more fun, and drink with him.

I can't, I won't and am clear on that.

I feel like s-!* and it so painful. My head is spinning, we are trying to get
moved and I'm having a hard time focusing. I am a mess.

11-07-2009, 05:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
reata Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Fryeburg, Maine Posts: 4	Scared I left. We started dating in high school, married 23 years, 2 children, a home, a business -- more than half my life and I left. Years of verbal abuse, anger, an affair, lies, and a insane emotional roller coaster ride but I never found the confidence and kept thinking it was me and my insufficiency that caused his unhappiness in life and he fueled that fire in me. I left because it was clear for me to see how it was hurting my teenage daughter. I was clear for me to see that in order for daughter to have a healthy foundation in her relationships in life, I needed to set an example. I got us both in therapy and am trying to get healthy for her today but am working on it becoming for me. I've never known a life without the insanity so that is my normal. I want to go running back, I still love him but his messages to me are not ones of love. He spoke to me last night and wants to get a divorce as he has "needs" and doesn't like this being alone thing and needs to get on with his life to find a "bed" partner. He needs for me to loosen up, have more fun, and drink with him. I can't, I won't and am clear on that. I feel like s-!* and it so painful. My head is spinning, we are trying to get moved and I'm having a hard time focusing. I am a mess.