[teke]

hi, welcome.

sorry you are going through all of this too. i'm a recovering addict married to a practicing addict. i chose to wait and stand by my abf 23yrs ago, then married after a couple of rehab stays, even though he stole, lied and everything else. 23yrs later, he's been in rehab maybe 10 times,long term and short, i can't count the many jail and prison terms and to today he's still active. i finally HAD to let go to save my sanity, i was around your age when i decided to stay and like you, my family and friends tried to get me to see how much pain i would eventually suffer. i waited 21yrs of my life, i wanted change so i had to do the changing.

if i had known what i know now, i would have turned and ran as afar away from addiction as i could. life living with addiction has been the worse decision i've ever made.

i'm glad he's in rehab and want to get better. addiction is such a hard battle to fight and rehab is not a cure all, its only the beginning of his road to recovery and after rehab, it will be totally up to him whether he continues to work his program of recovery. if not, his addiction will continue to get progressive worse.

you asked if you can stay without losing your sanity. maybe is would be easier to do if you could find and attend alanon or naranon support groups for yourself. keep posting and reading, learn all you can about addiction and co dependancy.

you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. i'm sorry but i have to kind of agree with your mother. i think she has your best interest at heart and maybe its not about her not accepting him but maybe not his addiction. i'm sure that normally he's a good person but addiction has a nature of his own and it controls the mind of a normally good person.

if you decide to stay, do it without high expectations, that my dear, is hard to do too. maybe its time for you to ask yourself if his addiction is something you can live with for the long haul.

you and yours are in my prayers.