Quote:
Originally Posted by alwayswaiting  But- i so just want to wait for him to get better. |
You can wait if you choose, but you don't have to wait
with him.
Hi alwayswaiting, you sound about the age of my son so I felt I needed to write. I'm glad you found SR. This is a good place to learn about addiction and how those of us who love/loved an addict have coped with addiction.
What I would tell my son if he came to me with what you said...as hard as it is, you cannot fix your (loved one). You can't cure (him), control (him), or change (him). He has to find his own way.
You can choose to find yours. Please do what you need to do for
yourself. If he finds his own way, that's good, but you planning your life around what someone else chooses is too unpredictable.
You asked how you can support him -- even though it sounds strange -- the best way to support him is to give him the dignity to find his own way.
You are young - with a lifetime ahead of you. Decide where you want to go, and go from there. If he chooses to go along...and you're OK with that, then that's fine. But please don't spend your youth waiting on someone else to change.
One more thing....people have great capacity for forgiveness. If he stays clean and your family sees long-term sobriety, they may learn to forgive his past. Ultimately though, it needs to be what is right for you.
I wish you the best...