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***Pelican*** · 11-06-2009, 07:01 PM

Hi Mandee and welcome to the recovery family!

I'm sorry that you are having to witness your mother's battle with addiction on a daily basis. I know from watching my spouse battle with his addiction to alcohol that it breaks your heart to watch them continue to drink over and over.

I also know what it is like to be the alcoholic. I'm known as Pelican and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Your mother may know in her heart that she has a problem with alcohol. She may know that she needs to stop drinking. However, her body, mind and soul are addicted to the alcohol. It is cunning and baffling. It calls out to you, you crave it, you desire it, you justify it over and over again. Your head keeps telling you can handle it, you can stop later, just one more day.....

It's like having cheesecake in the fridge and being on a diet. You know it's there. You think about it all day long. You know you don't need it, you just want it sooo badly. You can't focus on the fresh fruit, yogurt and sorbet, because the cheesecake is still there, waiting. So you justify the binge on cheesecake and eat the cheesecake, and while you're still swallowing it down - you start thinking about how you can get another slice. That's how my addiction to alcohol worked, it called out to me.

There is a terrific book about how the body becomes addicted to alcohol. It is called "Under the Influence". We have a link here at SR to excerpts from that book. Here's the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence")
This may help you understand that chemically your mother is completely addicted to the alcohol. She may want to stop, but until she is ready to admit that she is powerless over alcohol and that her life has become unmanageable, she will continue to suffer with feeding the addiction.

I had to reach the point of surrender. I admitted I was not in control - alcohol was in control of me. Until I reached that point, no one could make me stop and stay stopped. I had to get there myself.

Please take care of yourself Mandee. You are a young lady with a life full of opportunity. Continue to reach out here and through your community for help for yourself. You're worth the effort!

11-06-2009, 07:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
*Pelican* peaceful seabird Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: floating Posts: 3,654	Hi Mandee and welcome to the recovery family! I'm sorry that you are having to witness your mother's battle with addiction on a daily basis. I know from watching my spouse battle with his addiction to alcohol that it breaks your heart to watch them continue to drink over and over. I also know what it is like to be the alcoholic. I'm known as Pelican and I'm a recovering alcoholic. Your mother may know in her heart that she has a problem with alcohol. She may know that she needs to stop drinking. However, her body, mind and soul are addicted to the alcohol. It is cunning and baffling. It calls out to you, you crave it, you desire it, you justify it over and over again. Your head keeps telling you can handle it, you can stop later, just one more day..... It's like having cheesecake in the fridge and being on a diet. You know it's there. You think about it all day long. You know you don't need it, you just want it sooo badly. You can't focus on the fresh fruit, yogurt and sorbet, because the cheesecake is still there, waiting. So you justify the binge on cheesecake and eat the cheesecake, and while you're still swallowing it down - you start thinking about how you can get another slice. That's how my addiction to alcohol worked, it called out to me. There is a terrific book about how the body becomes addicted to alcohol. It is called "Under the Influence". We have a link here at SR to excerpts from that book. Here's the link: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence") This may help you understand that chemically your mother is completely addicted to the alcohol. She may want to stop, but until she is ready to admit that she is powerless over alcohol and that her life has become unmanageable, she will continue to suffer with feeding the addiction. I had to reach the point of surrender. I admitted I was not in control - alcohol was in control of me. Until I reached that point, no one could make me stop and stay stopped. I had to get there myself. Please take care of yourself Mandee. You are a young lady with a life full of opportunity. Continue to reach out here and through your community for help for yourself. You're worth the effort! __________________ "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus Hope for the Flowers Last edited by Pelican; 11-06-2009 at 07:29 PM.