Quote:
Originally Posted by grrl77  I make him sound like a total douchebag. He's not. He's kind, sweet, sincere, a very loving man - when he's not drinking. That's who I fell in love with. Sometimes he's still like this when he's drunk. Other times, he's a jerk. You just never know what you're going to get, pretty much. |
You're describing the man I married. I was married to him for 18 years and had two children with him. He was hardly ever a jerk in the beginning. Close to the end, the kind, sweet, sincere, loving man had all but disappeared. The jerk was omnipresent.
I know it doesn't feel like right now, but he did you a favor. You deserve more than someone who is all those things *when they're not drinking* You deserve someone who is all those things without the "but."
Therapy helped me sort out reasons why I accepted less than 100% in a relationship. Why I thought "true love" consisted of scraps. But, I had to go through decades of hell and be brought to my knees before I sought it out. I hope for you it takes less pain and misery. I hope for you that you will desire to sort those things out before you reach the point of total desperation and drag two innocent children down with you.
Best wishes on your journey,
L