Your white chip, or 'desire' chip symbolizes your desire to quit drinking. Just for today. Try your very best to stay in today, to connect with your sponsor (call her), and connect with other women (are there women-only meetings in your area?). Things will fall into place - though I do remember how confusing and overwhelming those early days and months of sobriety were.
Keep reaching out here for support, too. Welcome to board, by the way
