hi ms. mandee-
firstly, welcome to SR.
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Why hide if she wants help?
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alcoholics hide because they want booze, not because they want help.
you are correct, we can not force them to stop drinking. it's their choice.
most alcoholics need to hit bottom, prior to seeking help. your mom obviously hasn't hit bottom yet.
i know it is difficult to watch and witness, but right now, the best thing you can do is get educated and get some support for yourself. many of us here go to alanon to help us.
in my opinion, forced detox doesn't equal voluntary recovery work, as done in AA via the 12 steps.
it's hard to realize that the best thing we can do is step aside and let them get on with their drinking. there is help for you mom in AA, but she doesn't appear to want it right now.
if someone is serious about getting sober, they would grab onto the AA program with both hands. many feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but their desire to get sober and the pain of continuing to drink overrules their initial discomfort.
she's not at that stage yet. but it appears
you are able to reach out and ask for help.
the best thing you can do now is focus on yourself and your own life.
one of the motto's of AA is "live and let live"...hard to do but critical for your emotional and spiritual health.
naive