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MsMandee · 11-06-2009, 12:43 PM

I'm new here. Hi, all.

My mom is an alcoholic. She hasn't been a problem drinker for long, about a year, but in that year, the decline has been serious.

She always liked wine, occasionally, but never drank more than at social occasions. So, when she began drinking regularly, it was wine. First one glass a night, then two, you all know the progression. Eventually, she was drinking a gallon of Carlo Rossi every 2 1/2 days or so.

But it was only at night and was not yet affecting her life or health in obvious ways. It concerned me very much, but she brushed it off and I justified.

Fast forward to now: In the past few months, she has upgraded from wine to vodka and simply cannot control her drinking. She also denied it perpetually. One night last month, she drove home blacked out and behaved in ways I could never have imagined seeing my mother. After this, she felt ashamed and frightened, and agreed to a detox program given to her as an ultimatum from her job.

For the first time, she admitted she had a problem and seemed earnest in wanting to change. However, despite her completion of the detox program, she was still fired, and began drinking again right away. Back to denying it, but still admitting she's an alcoholic. She has only admitted to one slip-up, but I know there have been at least 4 in the past week.

I feel like some part of her desperately does want to change, but why is she still lying about her drinking if she does? Why can't she just say, "I want to stop but I don't know how?"

I may sound naive, and perhaps, I am, but I am just overwhelmed. I love her so very much and want to see her get better, but I am so, so afraid.

She doesn't want to go to AA because she feels uncomfortable. I held out hope she would see a psychiatrist, at least, but after she lost her job, she lost her health insurance.

I know you can't force someone into recovery, but what I don't understand is this flip-flopping behavior. On one hand, she's now open about the fact that she is an alcoholic and want to change, but still drinking and doing what she can to hide and deny. Why hide if she wants help?

11-06-2009, 12:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
MsMandee Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4	Feeling lost, hopeless, and terrified. I'm new here. Hi, all. My mom is an alcoholic. She hasn't been a problem drinker for long, about a year, but in that year, the decline has been serious. She always liked wine, occasionally, but never drank more than at social occasions. So, when she began drinking regularly, it was wine. First one glass a night, then two, you all know the progression. Eventually, she was drinking a gallon of Carlo Rossi every 2 1/2 days or so. But it was only at night and was not yet affecting her life or health in obvious ways. It concerned me very much, but she brushed it off and I justified. Fast forward to now: In the past few months, she has upgraded from wine to vodka and simply cannot control her drinking. She also denied it perpetually. One night last month, she drove home blacked out and behaved in ways I could never have imagined seeing my mother. After this, she felt ashamed and frightened, and agreed to a detox program given to her as an ultimatum from her job. For the first time, she admitted she had a problem and seemed earnest in wanting to change. However, despite her completion of the detox program, she was still fired, and began drinking again right away. Back to denying it, but still admitting she's an alcoholic. She has only admitted to one slip-up, but I know there have been at least 4 in the past week. I feel like some part of her desperately does want to change, but why is she still lying about her drinking if she does? Why can't she just say, "I want to stop but I don't know how?" I may sound naive, and perhaps, I am, but I am just overwhelmed. I love her so very much and want to see her get better, but I am so, so afraid. She doesn't want to go to AA because she feels uncomfortable. I held out hope she would see a psychiatrist, at least, but after she lost her job, she lost her health insurance. I know you can't force someone into recovery, but what I don't understand is this flip-flopping behavior. On one hand, she's now open about the fact that she is an alcoholic and want to change, but still drinking and doing what she can to hide and deny. Why hide if she wants help?