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I'm so sorry that you are hurting now. Not everyone who talks the talk is walking the walk. What I've found in the rooms are that some of the biggest talkers...are actually the weakest walkers. And some of the humblest talkers...really work it.
You're right about if someone is really working an honest program, they don't deal in lies just to get a woman interested. That being said, none of us works it perfectly, and in my experience, romantic relationships are one of the last places we act out in.
Even when we are doing well in every other relationship in our life, some of us throw the principles away when it comes to our partner. Some people justify it. I've heard some men in the program say "Every smart rabbit has more than one hole." My answer to that is always "What are you hiding from that you need a bunch of holes?"
Good for you in working your program one day at a time and staying clean. Obviously, he wasn't worried about your recovery, though he may have acted as if he was at the time. This happened to me when I was new, too. I feel like my relationship "picker" got a whole lot better with a year of clean time and some step work.
Love,
KJ
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