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Strife2211 · 11-06-2009, 12:04 PM

I am in the process of recovering from a dark 4 years of alcoholism after being on active duty with the army. I got home from my activation with the Minnesota Army National Guard (after 8 months deployed) on April 1st, 2006. My girlfriend left me the week I got home, all my friends had lost interest in me because I had been gone, and I lived alone for 2 years after that... sitting in my apartment all hours basically drinking by myself, if not with others that encouraged the bahavior. During those 2 years I met a girl, who should have been my wife to this day, but my alcohol abuse (and verbal abuse) of her pushed her away. Another 1.5 years after that I continued to go out every day after that and get smashed at the bars and not remember driving home. (I was black out drunk basically 4-6 days a week).

I now live with one roommate and have been pushing for sobriety for 3 months now. I DO STILL DRINK, but in no relation to what I used to, maybe twice a month, and when I do drink, it is a few drinks then stop. I ALSO KNOW THAT COMPLETE SOBRIETY IS THE ONLY TRUE RECOVERY. I am working my way towards that, but am in the meantime making progress, I believe.

I have not spoke to my friends or my family of the recovery. I have been failing out of college ever since the start of that road. My mother told me the first week of September (2009) that my parents are getting divorced, I have pushed my father out of my life (and for many good reasons). My life is in shambles, and the only help I ever really seem to get... is my lying in bed alone at night as I can't sleep... I cry a lot, and I do not know where I have gone wrong. I look back and I do not understand how I have let my life come to this. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and cannot believe that I have let myself becomes this loser... I have literally no friends and my family has broken.

I do not have suicidal thoughts however. I have a meeting set up with a chemical dependency counselor next week. I just feel lost in my life, and when I saw this site, and its amount of members... I figured this would be my first outreach.

Justin T.
26 y.o. male
Fargo, ND

11-06-2009, 12:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
Strife2211 Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Fargo, ND Posts: 1	Welcome to me :) I am in the process of recovering from a dark 4 years of alcoholism after being on active duty with the army. I got home from my activation with the Minnesota Army National Guard (after 8 months deployed) on April 1st, 2006. My girlfriend left me the week I got home, all my friends had lost interest in me because I had been gone, and I lived alone for 2 years after that... sitting in my apartment all hours basically drinking by myself, if not with others that encouraged the bahavior. During those 2 years I met a girl, who should have been my wife to this day, but my alcohol abuse (and verbal abuse) of her pushed her away. Another 1.5 years after that I continued to go out every day after that and get smashed at the bars and not remember driving home. (I was black out drunk basically 4-6 days a week). I now live with one roommate and have been pushing for sobriety for 3 months now. I DO STILL DRINK, but in no relation to what I used to, maybe twice a month, and when I do drink, it is a few drinks then stop. I ALSO KNOW THAT COMPLETE SOBRIETY IS THE ONLY TRUE RECOVERY. I am working my way towards that, but am in the meantime making progress, I believe. I have not spoke to my friends or my family of the recovery. I have been failing out of college ever since the start of that road. My mother told me the first week of September (2009) that my parents are getting divorced, I have pushed my father out of my life (and for many good reasons). My life is in shambles, and the only help I ever really seem to get... is my lying in bed alone at night as I can't sleep... I cry a lot, and I do not know where I have gone wrong. I look back and I do not understand how I have let my life come to this. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and cannot believe that I have let myself becomes this loser... I have literally no friends and my family has broken. I do not have suicidal thoughts however. I have a meeting set up with a chemical dependency counselor next week. I just feel lost in my life, and when I saw this site, and its amount of members... I figured this would be my first outreach. Justin T. 26 y.o. male Fargo, ND