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nsanendmembrain · 11-06-2009, 05:32 AM

I actually am beginning to think that there may be TOO MUCH history with me and my SO. He has never trusted me since we got together and I don't think that will ever change. It is just one thing after another. It doesn't help that we have both had affairs in the past. And he is possessive and jealous.

I put "private browsing" on (the computer) while surfing for f-ing Christmas presents for him. BIG MISTAKE. He found out about it and the interrogation began. I white-lied and said I was looking up something to do with my health. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. oh, BUT IT WAS!!! He brought it all up in therapy the next day and the therapist concluded that to search about my health privately, that I must be obsessed about it, and that obsession is on the path to relapse. I had to focus on the therapist's diploma on the wall to keep from bursting out laughing. I go to meeting every day. I talk to my sponsor every day. I help another alcoholic every day. Miraculously I have been sober for the longest amount of time ever. I wanted to let the cat out of the bag about the fabulous Christmas gift, but I got something really special for him and I don't want to blow the surprise.

He asks me why I never had a surprise 40th birthday party for him. What am I supposed to say? "oh, because you would accuse me of an affair half-way through the planning, that's why".

I have NO privacy. He goes through my things. He has to know EVERY thought and EVERY feeling or he starts wigging out. Well, am I supposed to do? Can't I have a LITTLE privacy? Jesus.

As of today, I want to send the gift back when it arrives back and pack my sh*t and leave. I DO feel angry. Well, not so much anymore...I have turned it over and shared with you all.

I know I am right where I am supposed to be, but is there such a thing as too much history???

11-06-2009, 05:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
nsanendmembrain Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 6	When will the trust return? I actually am beginning to think that there may be TOO MUCH history with me and my SO. He has never trusted me since we got together and I don't think that will ever change. It is just one thing after another. It doesn't help that we have both had affairs in the past. And he is possessive and jealous. I put "private browsing" on (the computer) while surfing for f-ing Christmas presents for him. BIG MISTAKE. He found out about it and the interrogation began. I white-lied and said I was looking up something to do with my health. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. oh, BUT IT WAS!!! He brought it all up in therapy the next day and the therapist concluded that to search about my health privately, that I must be obsessed about it, and that obsession is on the path to relapse. I had to focus on the therapist's diploma on the wall to keep from bursting out laughing. I go to meeting every day. I talk to my sponsor every day. I help another alcoholic every day. Miraculously I have been sober for the longest amount of time ever. I wanted to let the cat out of the bag about the fabulous Christmas gift, but I got something really special for him and I don't want to blow the surprise. He asks me why I never had a surprise 40th birthday party for him. What am I supposed to say? "oh, because you would accuse me of an affair half-way through the planning, that's why". I have NO privacy. He goes through my things. He has to know EVERY thought and EVERY feeling or he starts wigging out. Well, am I supposed to do? Can't I have a LITTLE privacy? Jesus. As of today, I want to send the gift back when it arrives back and pack my sh*t and leave. I DO feel angry. Well, not so much anymore...I have turned it over and shared with you all. I know I am right where I am supposed to be, but is there such a thing as too much history???