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From my standpoint, I like to write a letter or email when I am dealing with some of the difficult people in my life. Some of them want to twist what I have said into something its not. When it is written down, there is no doubt what I have said. It also allows me to be very careful with what I say.
If it were me, I would communicate with her and let her know that I was leaving. I would say what I needed to say but not say anything nasty or call anyone names or make accusations. If you would like to see her before you go, I would say so. If you really don't care to see her but want to give her the opportunity, I would say something like "if you want to see us we will be here for another 3 months...".
I would tell the truth and state my feelings but as the saying goes, "say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it mean".
The most important thing is this: Don't have any expectations on your mother. What you say is for your benefit. Don't expect it to change her or for her to react the way you want. You do what is right for you, behave well, don't say anything that you will regret and then let it go. Don't have any guilt and don't set yourself up with expectations on someone who has a track record for letting you down.
Good luck.
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