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Welcome Kris! You have come to one of the best places I can imagine for
advice, friendship and help. You'll be amazed at how many people have
been where you've been, felt what you've felt. And in time, you'll find
yourself reaching out to someone looking for a hand, and so it goes...
Kris, I was the mother of 4 small children, one just 3 months old, when I
got sober. My oldest was 5. I, like you, felt I had to do something before
these kids grew aware of what was going on. I'm sure that they saw the
"silly, funny" mum when ever their father was on a business trip and came
to expect it. However, I knew at some point it wasn't going to be funny
anymore and I owed my kids more than that. I couldn't bear the thought
of my kids having memories of me having to be put to bed or in one of my
emotional crying jags when I was drunk. They simply didn't deserve that.
And, frankly, I don't believe any child does.
I entered a rehab for 19 days during which my husband,(now my ex), brought
the kids over to visit occasionally. That tore their hearts out and they really
didn't understand. They still have vague memories of coming and coloring in
my room on the floor. However, this last summer, the older kids and I,(they are
now 14 and 12), finally talked about that time. They never knew I was an al-
coholic. It never seemed strange to them that we just didn't have any alcohol
in our house. It's simply not something they grew up with.
I did attend one AA meeting a week. It was a women's group which I was not sure
I would like at first. I was afraid it would be full of male-bashing or husband-haters.
My husband at the time was extremely supportive and I didn't want to feel I
couldn't bring that up. I was also afraid it might be cliquey. But, I gave it a try. I
found the best group!! They could all relate to what it was like to be a mother/
woman alcoholic which, like it or not, is different in this society from being a male
alcoholic. I explained to the kids that I went to a meeting on Monday nights to
talk with other women about "Woman Things".
I'm sorry this is so long winded, but I just want to tell you I've been where you've
been and it is so worth it to get to the other side. The relationship you will have
with your family and yourself is priceless.
Keep up the good work and pm me if you want!
~Ajax
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