Interesting you should mention that book. When I first decided to go to a therapist, it was under the idea that I wanted to try and make my marriage work. The first book she recommended I read was "Getting the Love you Want." I was fascinated, and still am, by the ideas in that book.
I think that our childhood wounds do seek out someone with whom we can work on and heal them. And I think that it is entirely possible to do that when both partners are aware, open, and willing to do that. Obviously not possible when one partner is addicted. So if we seek out partners who have already lost themselves to a substance, then it must mean we have some work to do on ourselves before we can find the right partner to heal with.
L