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Eastcoaster,
Three years ago I was in miserable state. I had spent 5 years drinking uncontrollably after work nearly every day. I drank alone. I lived in shame and guilt. I can relate to alot of people's posts because of this period of my life. I had lost control and I felt hopeless.
How I actually ended that low period was by getting pregnant. I quit drinking cold turkey. After my son was born, I made many very positive changes in my life. I managed to keep my drinking to only 1 day a week. It was no solution though... I was still an alcoholic.
At this point here in my second pregnancy, I have finally had the epiphany that the only way to deal with this problem is not to ever drink again. The sobriety of pregnancy has given me a little more perspective, which is a BIG advantage. Limiting the drinking over the last 3 years is also an advantage. I think my mind is in a better place to think about all these things than it would have been if I had tried to do this during the very active alcoholic phase of my life.
I just don't want to blow this opportunity. This is my big chance. Of all the things I have ever achieved in my life, this will be the most important. Alcoholism ruins lives and not just the person who drinks either. I have seen that first hand because of my father. My children deserve better than that. I deserve better.
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