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ice17 · 11-04-2009, 04:54 PM

I just need some perspective here. This is not strictly to do with this thread, but i need some advice, so if anyone is feeling in an advice mood, i would appreciate it. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to give me a reply. I know its a lot of reading.

I dont think i am the most well adjusted person in terms of my interactions with people. I dont know if this is because im an ACoA, or just because i am me. Do ACoA's feel like people just dont get them sometimes? I have a lot of acquantainces, but few people that i consider friends. And even then, i dont think those friends understand why most times i show absolutely no emotion (years of being told not to be so sensitive when my dad got drunk and swore me), i am very withdrawn and sometimes after a few drinks, i am more likely to get emotional if something is bothering me. This is not a good way to be. I realise this and am working on trying to change this behaviour.

The problem is that until i found this site, i didnt have anyone or anywhere to turn to. The only person that i used to turn to was my best friend, who i noticed has changed over the years. When we teens, he was great. But as we got older, he turned into a womanizer amongst other things. I dont like a lot of his behaviour and i think i stayed his friend because i didnt have anyone else that i felt comfortable discussing everything with. Recently, i was out and something upset me. It was about 2am, but my friend was out as well and i sms'd him and asked if i could chat when i got home and he said yes. So when i got home, i called and we chatted and then straight after, his on again/of again gf sent me a message shouting at me for not realising that he was with her. The thing is, when i phoned, i asked him if he was with her and he said no. Then they started fighting with eachother and she told me it was my faullt. :wtf2. Its not the first time he has lied to me, or the first time she has acted psycho towards me (i found out she spread lots of rumours about me etc.). I got to this point where i thought enough is enough and i asked both of them not to contact me again, because i dont like being drawn into their problems, which they always do.

Did i overreact or was i being reasonable? He has let me down many times before and even though i dont trust easily, when i let someone in, it takes a lot for me to see their faults. I dont know if this is an ACoA thing, or a me thing.

11-04-2009, 04:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
ice17 Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 16	Overreact...who me? I just need some perspective here. This is not strictly to do with this thread, but i need some advice, so if anyone is feeling in an advice mood, i would appreciate it. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to give me a reply. I know its a lot of reading. I dont think i am the most well adjusted person in terms of my interactions with people. I dont know if this is because im an ACoA, or just because i am me. Do ACoA's feel like people just dont get them sometimes? I have a lot of acquantainces, but few people that i consider friends. And even then, i dont think those friends understand why most times i show absolutely no emotion (years of being told not to be so sensitive when my dad got drunk and swore me), i am very withdrawn and sometimes after a few drinks, i am more likely to get emotional if something is bothering me. This is not a good way to be. I realise this and am working on trying to change this behaviour. The problem is that until i found this site, i didnt have anyone or anywhere to turn to. The only person that i used to turn to was my best friend, who i noticed has changed over the years. When we teens, he was great. But as we got older, he turned into a womanizer amongst other things. I dont like a lot of his behaviour and i think i stayed his friend because i didnt have anyone else that i felt comfortable discussing everything with. Recently, i was out and something upset me. It was about 2am, but my friend was out as well and i sms'd him and asked if i could chat when i got home and he said yes. So when i got home, i called and we chatted and then straight after, his on again/of again gf sent me a message shouting at me for not realising that he was with her. The thing is, when i phoned, i asked him if he was with her and he said no. Then they started fighting with eachother and she told me it was my faullt. :wtf2. Its not the first time he has lied to me, or the first time she has acted psycho towards me (i found out she spread lots of rumours about me etc.). I got to this point where i thought enough is enough and i asked both of them not to contact me again, because i dont like being drawn into their problems, which they always do. Did i overreact or was i being reasonable? He has let me down many times before and even though i dont trust easily, when i let someone in, it takes a lot for me to see their faults. I dont know if this is an ACoA thing, or a me thing.