[Horselover]

I am glad you came back, but I do have to say something because I can relate in a big way to you. You were talking about not being good in big groups and I know I have that problem and I bet you that you and I aren't the only ones. When I went to AA I was scared to death. This was back in my early 20s. I am currently 43 years old and so this was a bit ago. I still remember like it happened yesterday though. I worked in a big city, actually, Chicago and I went on my lunch hour. I was absolutely terrified. I walked in ready to bolt any moment and was greeted by 2 of the nicest people I have ever met. They were both older women and just so nice. They both started talking to me and could tell I wasn't ready to say anything and so they continued to talk. They insisted I come sit with them and then the meeting started. I can't tell you what that meeting was about that day, but I can picture those 2 dear people as if they were in the same room with me right now. They were the reason I stayed in AA for as long as I did, which was months. In my 20s I was pretty bull headed and not ready to admit to my alcoholism. I did leave AA, but it was my fault totally.

I understand the fear, but its usually far worse in our heads then in reality. You don't have to speak at the meetings and you want people that can relate to you well then I can't think of a better place. I would say that SR wasn't doing it for you before and a group of people just might save your life.

I'm glad you came back here though. I hope you stop using and drinking. I know you can. There are many here that started where you're standing and they are sober now. You can be too.