SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

honoryourself · 11-04-2009, 06:37 AM

We had our joint counseling last night. Even my therapist said, be careful, watch your back, and get out of this as quickly as possible...

Words you never want to hear about someone you love!

After a very unsuccessful therapy session where AH was cocky and unremorseful and closed and angry, we got home and I asked if he would sit down and talk out a plan with me. He cried and we hugged once (good old codies can't help it when they see tears.. ug) and then I started to mention some things we need to discuss. As SOON as we got to the topic of alcohol, and I didn't even say anything specific about it just that I wanted to understand where he stood with it, since before he said he had a problem and now he says he doesn't, he flipped out. He said he's going to do what he's going to do and is sick of me trying to control him etc.

I tried to revisit our discussion later when he was calm and that was also unsuccessful. I said I was falling out of love with him and was serious about considering separation and divorce. It couldn't have made things any worse, but maybe I should have just stayed quiet.

He's screaming and raving mad. I don't even see a glimmer of the man I met in his eyes, this is the alternate personality.. it's madness, there is a frantic look and way about him, he's desperate and angry and controlling.
He screams about how I have no heart and need to stop treating him like a child and mothering him, then he calls me on his way to work saying I have to talk to him about refinancing our house. WTF?? He's seriously trying to get me to talk calmly to him about refinancing when we are not even having a single conversation without it degenerating into a 'you big meanie' -door slam-combo??

I have to call a lawyer today and figure out what to do. It's so sad, I do miss the man I thought I knew. I guess I never knew him, I was blinded by love, something I never thought was a flaw of mine, but I'm dealing with being ashamed and embarassed about my poor choices now too.

Bleah. Any more adrenaline in my system and I think I might just have a stroke!

Thanks for being there SR to hear out my story as I stumble along.

11-04-2009, 06:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
honoryourself Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: east siiiide Posts: 254	My house is like a war zone We had our joint counseling last night. Even my therapist said, be careful, watch your back, and get out of this as quickly as possible... Words you never want to hear about someone you love! After a very unsuccessful therapy session where AH was cocky and unremorseful and closed and angry, we got home and I asked if he would sit down and talk out a plan with me. He cried and we hugged once (good old codies can't help it when they see tears.. ug) and then I started to mention some things we need to discuss. As SOON as we got to the topic of alcohol, and I didn't even say anything specific about it just that I wanted to understand where he stood with it, since before he said he had a problem and now he says he doesn't, he flipped out. He said he's going to do what he's going to do and is sick of me trying to control him etc. I tried to revisit our discussion later when he was calm and that was also unsuccessful. I said I was falling out of love with him and was serious about considering separation and divorce. It couldn't have made things any worse, but maybe I should have just stayed quiet. He's screaming and raving mad. I don't even see a glimmer of the man I met in his eyes, this is the alternate personality.. it's madness, there is a frantic look and way about him, he's desperate and angry and controlling. He screams about how I have no heart and need to stop treating him like a child and mothering him, then he calls me on his way to work saying I have to talk to him about refinancing our house. WTF?? He's seriously trying to get me to talk calmly to him about refinancing when we are not even having a single conversation without it degenerating into a 'you big meanie' -door slam-combo?? I have to call a lawyer today and figure out what to do. It's so sad, I do miss the man I thought I knew. I guess I never knew him, I was blinded by love, something I never thought was a flaw of mine, but I'm dealing with being ashamed and embarassed about my poor choices now too. Bleah. Any more adrenaline in my system and I think I might just have a stroke! Thanks for being there SR to hear out my story as I stumble along.