First of all, I hope I am posting in the correct forum; if not please correct me. I have been a recovering addict for over 4 years. In 2005 I had no choice but to leave my husband. We fed off each others addictions. Both of our choice of drugs was painkillers, in particular oxycontin. I have been clean since August 2005, but because of certain circumstances I'd rather not explain, the last time I talked to my husband was in March '08. A week ago, I was informed by my insurance company about a rate change. When I called, their first words were "our condolences for the death of your husband!". Neither of us ever bothered to file for divorce because of money but ironically I was about to try Legal Aid because I haven't been able to work for over two years.
Long story short, I was livid not to hear about this. I called SS and they said he had been deceased since 7/8/09. I was devastated. Cause of death - Abuse of Prescription Drugs! I know it's not my fault, but I feel so guilty. When we were together years ago, he always threatened to kill himself if I left him. He had turned his parents against me so I had to order a death certificate. Immediate cause acute myocardial infarction exaccaberted by hypertension, and as I mentioned CAUSE of DEATH - prescription pain killers. I have never been to Nar-Anon, only Al-Anon. I did find a group for Survivor's of Suicide but they only meet twice a month. If I go to Nar-Anon, is it prohibited to talk about suicides via overdose from a loved one. I was one of those that NEVER thought I would be a suicide survivor. I haven't been able to sleep more than a couple hours a night since I heard this disturbing news.
Has anyone else been a victim of suicide from drug overdose? And even if not, anyone have any supportive news. I sit and cry all night, especially when I'm alone. I've asked my Mom if I could stay with her a few days because I am so distraght. I am so sorry about the "novel" I just wrote.
Regards,
Leslie
