[veryregretful]

My estranged AH of almost 3 weeks was supposed to take my son whose 14 out to dinner last night but texted him and said he didn't feel good so he would take him out today. Well, I make plans with my daughter (whose supposed to be going out with AH tomorrow - Wed) to go to the movies because I thought my son would be with his dad.

Before I left my son said he wasn't sure he wanted to go. I called my AH and said instead of going out to dinner why not just get subs and bring it here and me and my daughter won't be home so they could talk. My AH told me he had a couple more hours of work. This was at 4:30. At 8:00pm when I got home my AH didn't even call my son and say he wasn't coming. We left it on the phone that he would call my son when he got out of work.

My son is very angry at his dad for his drinking, his verbal abuse to himself, me and my daughter. When I got back I told my son I was sorry his Dad didn't call him or anything and that it's not his fault. We talked a few minutes. That's when he said he was angry at him. I can tell he is very angry. I'm heartbroken over this. I'm ready to call my AH but I know better. He'll just end up saying he is sick over his son being angry at him and he can't handle it. Well duh, wouldn't you be angry to if someone verbally abused you then blows you off.

I told my son we were going to alateen and he said he didn't want to. I told him that he was going to support me and i was going to alanon to support him. The only alateen meetings in my area are on Monday and Tuesday. A few years ago we went to Monday nights and I didn't care for the Alanon meeting there so I figured we would try the Tuesday night one. Well since today is Tuesday and I thought my son had plans before I knew about the Tuesdays we have to wait another week to go. I think it's even more important now to take my kids to alateen.

As I plugged in my son's cell phone to charge it I looked at his text messages which I know I shouldn't have but my AH asked him if my son was mad at him and my son responded yes. The AH then responded that's why he would like to go to dinner and talk. My son said he didn't know if wanted to go to dinner. So then I called my AH like I said earlier in this post that my son would agree on getting subs and talking here while I'm not here.

What was cool to me was that my daughter texted my son and vice versa. He asked her how did she feel and she said sad. He asked if she was mad and she said no. She texted him if he stopped drinking would he want him home but my son didn't get that message yet. I think it's cool that they are talking to each other. They are 14 year old twins and it made me kind of happy that they are talking about it.

I'm so heartbroken for the two of them that I don't know what to do. I try not to talk to much about it. They tell me I'm annoying them so I know I'm talking too much.

I did buy the book Codependent No More today and am going to start to read it. Is this an appropriate book for my kids to read? I mentioned this to my son about maybe reading the book and maybe he might understand how I have been acting and I haven't read the book yet so really don't know if he read it would it help him too?

I'm really angry at my AH right now. Usually I'm not angry but he's hurting our kids and it's not fair to them.

He is supposed to be taking my daughter out to dinner tomorrow so we'll see if he follows through with that. I doubt it because when I told him my daughter was looking forward to dinner he said something about he might be working late.

I don't care how he feels about the kids being mad at him. He should be really trying to make good with these kids. The kids are great kids and he's going to ruin them even more than they are now if he keeps acting selfish.

Any comments will be greatly appreciated!!!!!!! It's heartbreaking to think that one is so sad and the other is really mad. The looks on their faces says it all!

Hugs to all and am really looking forward to comments.

Thanks