RAH and I went to lunch today. There were a couple little things said during lunch - nothing major - that made me wonder about the changes he is professing to have made in the way he thinks and feels about things. I blew it off, reminding myself that I can only control and help myself.
Then I went to counseling. I realized in counseling that he was started the same crap last nite that he used to do. And then did it again at lunch today. And the excuses have started again - he couldn't go to AA meeting last nite because he needed to watch our son so I could go to meeting. He didn't go to meeting this afternoon because he has some required chemical dependency class he has to complete for work. He didn't go tonite because we were having dinner. He can't go later because he has to work.
To make a long story short, he has only been out of rehab for two weeks. He has only been to counseling one time in two weeks. He hasn't been to AA meeting since last Thursday, and in the last week (Tuesday to Tuesday) has only been to one AA meeting.
I am sad. I am disappointed. My counselor asked again today what I want and what I need - and I still don't know! When I mentioned the AA meetings, she said that addicts/alcoholics need to go to 90 meetings in 90 days to ensure success.
He mentioned tonite when I was talking to him about this that he thought he was doing pretty well. Is this denial? Is this the disease?
Is THIS my sign?
