Welcome tiedmyself2tite
You'll find help and support here ryan
I see you have some fairly definite ideas about what you can't or won't do - I was like that - I ended up doing nothing and my addiction beat me into the ground.
Don't be like me - we all need to change, to do something tangible, to make this work.
Keep an open mind - explore everything - the more options you have, the better your chances....
D