| No contact
I have been reading these threads for several years. I changed my name because of concern that my exhusband will search my name. One month ago, I ended a 5 year relationship with my bf who is a ch and alcoholic. He managed to stay clean for 6 months, with a promise that he was "done". He had never made that promise before because he recognizes that he is an addict and alcoholic.
Says AA/NA does not "work" for him etc. I don't want to spend this post talking about him. I learned he had picked up because my gut told me so. I went to his apt and found him using, which he could not deny. Asked for my keys, asked him not to come to my house or to contact me. Heard from him about 10 days later via email, asking me to come over etc. I was not in the State, so it was easy.
His parents called me Friday night to tell me that had not heard from him in a month and would I go there to "check on him". I said no. I did not want to find him dead, high, drunk etc. His parents called his ex wife and she went there and he called me, so I know he is alive.
I have been in Alanon 12 years. Lots of codie, family of origin work, and I understand my "issues". I have finally lost all hope, and accept him for who he is. The clean person, rears his head every so often, but that cannot be a hook for me, because he is high/drunk more than clean. And he has no program, which means sobriety is an illusion.
I wanted to check in to introduce myself. NC does not mean "North Carolina". It means "No contact". I have a lot of support where I live, with a sponsor and friends but you guys understand more than anyone. I have my moments where I really, really miss him, but then I am able to dissect what it is I miss, and him using and drinking is not something I miss. I felt that every moment he was clean was one moment closer to using for him, because he has never been able to sustain being clean/sober for any significant length of time. I am moving on, but an aware enough of my desire to do stupid things, like get in the car to "see him", that I am posting for support. I share my son with my ex and there is time when my son is not with me, which is when I am prone to contact or attempt to contact my ex chbf. I am so glad to be posting.
NC Girl
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