[GingerM]

You are not your mother's keeper. She is an adult (legally at least), and you have every right, as an adult yourself, to say "I'm sorry mom, I can't let you stay with us."

The first rule of rescue (as in firefighters and river rescue people) is "do not put the rescuer at risk." The reason for this rule is that if the rescuer gets in trouble, then there are two people to rescue, not just one.

Do not put yourself at risk. It sounds like your mom needs rescuing. While I doubt that anyone can rescue her from herself, the absolute worst thing you could do is put yourself in a situation to also need rescuing.

I'm sorry you're going through this. But take care of yourself first and foremost - you are not your mother's parent, she has options and she can choose to do with her life what she will (and she WILL choose those things, no matter what you do).

As for feeling lost (and sad), that's to be expected. You had hopes that things would turn out differently than they did, and anytime we hope something will go one way and it goes a different way, we often find ourselves disappointed (sometimes even when the "other way" turns out to be better). Can you allow yourself to be sad in a non-judgmental way? Can you give yourself permission to feel lost? If you can't, I will - I hereby give you permission to feel lost and hurt and disappointed and downcast - for a while. I then give you permission to take care of yourself first and to not put yourself in "danger". And lastly, I give you permission to move on with your life, even when others are stuck in one spot that they can't move past.

Sometimes having someone else give permission is easier than giving it to yourself.