SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - I know it's an illness, but I'm so tired of dealing with it

dothi · 11-01-2009, 08:33 AM

Welcome husbandofacoa! Hopefully this corner of SR will be of some use to you

When I started seeing my current partner, and even though I knew he was healthy for me, I still engaged in the behaviors I had learned from my parents. I would try to manipulate him, and didn't even realize what I was doing because I thought what I was doing was normal. I was very fortunate that my partner would call on my BS. I was in the process of separating from the alcoholics in my family, so it really helped me identify where some of the damage still lingered.

What made the key change for me was counselling. When I first started seeing my counsellor it was on something that seemed unrelated at the time. But because I was ready to let go of my denial about my family, I was able to progress both as a person and as a partner in a relationship.

Does your wife admit that there are some things that could be better? Does she acknowledge what damage her family or origin may have caused?

11-01-2009, 08:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
dothi Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Anywhere but the mainstream. Posts: 402	Welcome husbandofacoa! Hopefully this corner of SR will be of some use to you When I started seeing my current partner, and even though I knew he was healthy for me, I still engaged in the behaviors I had learned from my parents. I would try to manipulate him, and didn't even realize what I was doing because I thought what I was doing was normal. I was very fortunate that my partner would call on my BS. I was in the process of separating from the alcoholics in my family, so it really helped me identify where some of the damage still lingered. What made the key change for me was counselling. When I first started seeing my counsellor it was on something that seemed unrelated at the time. But because I was ready to let go of my denial about my family, I was able to progress both as a person and as a partner in a relationship. Does your wife admit that there are some things that could be better? Does she acknowledge what damage her family or origin may have caused?