[Cleansing]

Sorry this is long and a little odd. I'm just really bothered by my behavior fresh out of rehab. You can skim through this post and get the gist of things.

It's my medication, I don't feel normal unless I'm on the highest dosage. And Im constantly thinking about getting more, even though that might not be the answer.

I recently came out of Rehab (did detox before it) for heroin, coke, and alcohol. I've been out five days so far, but only been to two meetings (YIKES!!!!)

I'm making this thread because I would like your opinions on my situation. I know you can't give out any medical advice, but could you please tell me if you been on these meds before, and what dosages work for you? Any tips for battling depression/anxiety without relying on psych meds?

I've been feeling real nervous since getting out of rehab. I'm worried about the relapse and how devastating it will be to me and my family, especially after getting some real good help. I'm able to go outside, but I get so nervous, it's to the point where i feel like collapsing when there's too many people around, and I sweat and shake a lot. I went to the hospital, and they gave a 2 week prescription for buspar. I had to embellish a little bit, and told them I had a panic attack yesterday and today.

Now I'm also on
Effexor XR 225mg
Lithium ER 450 (twice a day)
Zyprexa 5mg (3 times a day)
Metoprolol 50mg (twice a day)

Now I lied because I really wanted something for my anxiety, and felt that my kind of anxiety wasn't bad enough, but I couldn't have peice of mind knowing i wasn't on anything for anxiety.

I haven't even started the buspar yet (5mg 3X a day), however im already thinking of upping the dosage to 7.5mg, because 5mg just seem too small.

For the first time in almost 4 years, I can say I'm not depressed, yet for some reason I want to increase my Effexor XR.

It just bugs me that im not getting the best treatment. In my head, smaller dosages = low quality treatment.

But at the same time I know that everbody's mind works differently, and so these dosages may be all right.


The problem is that I'll fall into the trap too much, and then i won't feel fine unless I have the "right" dosage.

But looking at my meds, I take metoprolol for hypertension, and it also stops the heart from racing. Then I got the Effexor which is for depression, but also deals with anxiety. The zyprexa helps me stay calm too, though the more i smoke, the lower the zyprerxa levels get.

I just feel like all the meds im taking are fine, but i create this anxiety, frustation, and low mood by thinking things aren't right.

i really hope I made sense because i'm really worried now. I don't see the psychiatrist for two weeks, and I don't to go these two weeks thinking that none of these meds are working.

I guess I just need some suggestions, and maybe encouragement. Like going to meetings, excercising, and meditating would be of great help. The meds won't be there forever (it would be nice to get off them), but I just have this dependance on them for now, and would like to get as much as possible.