[veryregretful]

Hopefully this post will be shorter than the others I have written.

Me and my AH have been talking about our relationship and what's in the future.

Today I had a problem with his brother and I needed to talk to my AH about it. I discussed with him what was going on and he told what to do. It was about him cancelling his cellphone that he is on our family plan because I was helping him out cuz he can't get his own phone on his own because of his credit. He agreed to a new two year contract that just started sept. 24. A little over a month he decides to cancel because he just doesn't like the phones, customer service and the web. Whatever. So with 23 months left to go with the contract, I would be stuck paying his portion of the bill. 70 dollars. I have it worked out now that he'll get another new phone and deal with it and pay the 70 a month.

My AH is staying with a friend and he had asked me to come over while he was going to have a few drinks and sit by the fire. I was not going to do that anyway but I figured I'd wait until today to say I couldn't find a sitter to stay with them late.

He called me 5 times tonight (he was trashed of course) screaming at me that I was sleeping with his brother. He said he saw his car here at 10pm last week. For one thing I would never do that. He's kind of creepy plus I get up at 3:30am for work so why would he be here anyways.

So he's yelling and etc. and I say I don't want to talk about this now. We'll talk tomorrow. He keeps hanging up on me. One thing that surprised me was that I didn't get upset about this. I was like whatever. I'm glad he's not here anymore. I don't have to listen to him. He usually calls the cell phone but tonight he was calling the house phone. probably to check to see if I was home. . He texted me but the text really didn't make any sense.

Why does he find the need to call and verbally abuse me over the phone when the reason he isn't here is because of the verbal abuse. I was calm as can be and I think that pissed him off even more because he was trying to get a rise out of me that just wasn't happening. I know he is an alki but there is no need for him to do that. Was he checking up on me? Did he want me to yell back at him? I was calm. I actually felt good when he hung up on me cuz I didn't give it back to him. He probably won't remember the conversation tomorrow anyways.

I know I am rambling. It's been a long day and I'm pooped

I know the alki's are irrational alot. Could this be that he's still angry and I'm doing things I should be doing around the house and with the kids and kind of getting on with my life even with the sadness, hopefully anger is around the corner.

I probably should have just ignored the calls but if I did that then he would just keep calling.

I'm proud of myself that I stayed calm and after the phone calls I kind of feel sad for him. Doesn't he know what he is doing to himself and others. I sort of pity him.

I think tonight I will sleep good because now I know I made the right decision and hopefully I won't wake up in the middle of the nght with anxiety and can't go back to sleep.

If anyone has any answere please respond. You guys always give me something to think about!!!!!

Have a good night and hope to hear from you.

This ended up turning into a big ramble. lololol sorry.

denise