[stacymarie10]

I lost my mother in September 2009 to complications created by end-stage cirrhosis. I am suffering now with guilt for not making her get help, anger for all the years she drank and for all the things she said, and empathy for her depression and struggles. It's hard for me to even think about having children because my mom always looked forward to having grandchildren. I feel like my life is on hold now-- I don't know what to do now that she's gone. Now, my future children will never know her and that breaks my heart. I'm 27. My sister is 22. I never imagined we would end up without a mother. Mothers are supposed to be around for years beyond the 20's. People tell me they understand, they lost their mother too.... but they didn't lose their mother until they were in their 50's. We're still in our 20's, so I get mad because it isn't fair. Does anyone else struggle with this anger toward the parents, toward the community, toward other people who are just trying to help??