Hey dolce
Congratulations on allowing somebody to help you. Sounds like a wonderful bit of growth to me.
Do _you_ like to help others? I dunno about you but it makes _me_ feel useful and valuable when I can be of service to somebody else. It's a roundabout way of proving to myself that I am _not_ like my alcoholic parents, who were takers and never givers.
Due to my ill health I have been forced to let others do things for me. Lots of things. So it's not like I have grown along spiritual lines in this area, I was dragged into it kicking and screaming
I think the hardest lesson was one time I was getting out of the hospital and my sponsor brought a whole gaggle of cute young ladies from his wife's women's meeting. Very cute, very attractive, all single, happy, bubbly, active young Las Vegas ladies. And _I_ looked like something come out of a haloween movie.
They pushed the wheelchair for me, opened doors for me, helped me into the car, even buckled the seat belt for me. And with my sponsor watching closely there would be no refusing help. My "macho ego" took a beating that day.
What my sponsor taught me is that those women felt _good_ when they were able to help me. It helped _them_ prove to themselves that they were _not_ like their own alcoholic parents. What I had been doing, by refusing help, was keeping those good feelings to myself and not sharing. When I let others help me, I am giving _them_ the opportunity to feel good about themselves.
Some day I'll get to be good at this. But for today I am making progress and slowly getting better at it. Like you noted, there are some people that I wonder if they have ulterior motives, so I pass on them. Otherwise, I graciously acknowledge a bit of assistance.
Mike