| Just remember your boundaries, Goldberry. Although what you've heard about projecting your boundaries is good advice, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a boundary-reinforcing plan if your boundaries are crossed. This doesn't involve mentally re-hashing the possibilities of what can go wrong - it just involves what you will do in case something goes wrong, i.e. a boundary is crossed.
If the drunken fighting starts up, what can you do to protect yourself mentally? (protecting yourself isn't just about your physical safety)
FWIW my parents used to do this funny thing where they would visit me and start hashing their arguments out in front of me. (guess they liked having an audience, maybe because they knew the other would not say certain things in front of me, whatever). Something I used when the fighting started was, "I did not take today off to listen to this. If you don't stop, I am leaving." I specified the behavior I did not like, and then specified the consequence. Thus it became their choice to continue and accept the consequence.
Have a plan. Make sure anyone going with you is onboard and aware (even with kids, if grandma and grandpa start acting rudely, we will not be staying. if grandma and grandpa are fine, then we will stay). I think you will feel a lot better knowing that your worst fears don't have to come true if this visit takes a turn for the worst because you are empowered to make decisions and plans like these in order to take care of yourself.
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