[Goldberry]

I am going to see my mom and the rest of the family in November. It's my father's BD and mom asked if we could come down to celebrate. I said sure. I am a bit, just a bit nervous. I haven't been there since July and since we've gotten past the terrible phone calls in Sept. and can talk again now. I know that only going for a couple of days is not likely to result in a major problem but I also know my mom will drink and my father may start an argument. I want to be prepared not to react or leave when I'm uncomfortable. I want to enjoy my mom instead of pleading with her not to drink, or enabling or provoking her in any way etc... I want to show God's love to her without falling for the old patterns of losing my temper, trying to calm them down, which never helps or even getting involved in the stupid argument. I want to be able to not let the hostile words get to me. Of course this may not happen at all. It's only a couple of days.... Al anon and these posts have helped me learn some tools and ways to respond that will be more detached if I remember to use them. Like, how to step back from the drama and to have my boundaries and suggested sayings written down and practiced etc...
Someone in my Al anon meeting said not to project what will happen so I won't worry myself. I have done this in the past and it plays havoc on my brain.
Any more sayings and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.