Hi and WELCOME!!
I think it's awesome that you found the fantastic people on SR and all its resources.
With regards to your last question, the thing that gave me that final push was imagining my daughter, who is now 1, being treated by her chosen partner the way my X treated me. I imagined her as an adult, crying, raging, screaming, trembling, questioning her very worth, despairing, feeling irrevocably trapped by the person she had chosen to love. I was horrified. I realized that though I want my daughter to have two parents and a traditional family setting, I was teaching her that it was ok for men yell, cuss, swear, frighten, manipulate and abuse women. I just couldn't deal with that. So I'm leaving. I'm choosing to focus on me, and what I need to be healthy.
I know the actual leaving is HARD (I'm doing it tomorrow). You feel guilty, scared, angry, *everything*. But the discomfort won't kill you. It's just uncomfortable. And you get through it. And another day comes along, and you're alive, you're with your daughter and you're one tiny step further away from that toxic person.
You have offers to help you. That's huge. Take them!
Good luck and keep posting
