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rdy4change · 10-30-2009, 02:05 PM

Hi everyone. I was fortunate to stumble across SR about a month ago and find myself reading day in-day out (not good when you're at work). But, I can say that it's nice to be able to identify with others who are in the same situation or who have experienced what I have not yet experienced and I can trust the advice that is offered and I'm willing to take it. Sorry this is long but I want to give you some background.

Lots of incidents and not really worth mentioning since I'm sure you've all been there. Held an intervention in June and he ended up trying to leave...we called the police and he blew a .274. I refused to care for him so they took him to detox for 4 days. I had a bed for him at a very well known treatment facility and he said he'd go. He never did. Most recently spent an entire day at the ER which showed he has an enlarged liver and is not producing platelets. The next day he was on his second drink by 10:00 a.m. I told him to choose. He chose the booze...surprise. I chickened out and a few weeks passed. I talked to him about it again, gave him an ultimatum and told him I would see an attorney. Again, he chose the liquor and when I said I would retain an attorney to protect me and our daughter, he said he understood. He currently drinks a 1.75 of vodka in two days. Mornings are great but after about 2:00 p.m. I can't talk to him because he's a jerk. We have a 3 year old daughter and I'm afraid of what I'm teaching her.

He is filing for bankruptcy (I'm not). Everyday stinks...I dread if he's home when I get there or when I see his truck pull in the drive. He always looks like he's in pain, his eyes are always bloodshot, he's bruising easily, doesn't eat and is probably down to 180 pounds if not less. He's 6'0 and hasn't been that weight since high school. He looks terrible and showers about every other day.

I know he didn't believe that I saw an attorney and one night I got up the gumption to tell him. He looked shock...I stayed calm. The next morning, I'm sure he didn't remember or believe me because we're back to 'normal'.

OK...all of that and my question is simple. Maybe not a question but more of the fact that I need a pep talk. My Marital Termination Agreement draft will be getting to me today and my attorney is awarding me everything since he won't be able to pay child support. For those of you who have left an AS...what gave you the gumption? I KNOW I can't live like this forever and my daughter deserves a healthy dad and happy mom but I'm scared to death of what he'll do. I have a great support system, my poor dad is going nuts and my brother is even willing to help me get a townhouse. WHY OH WHY is this SO HARD??

I'm so sorry everyone for how long this is. I think I've bottled it up for so long that I have a lot to say. Trust me...this post could have been much longer!!

I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully helping someone else out if I can't help myself.

10-30-2009, 02:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
rdy4change Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Midwest Posts: 93	Newbie...sorry so long. Hi everyone. I was fortunate to stumble across SR about a month ago and find myself reading day in-day out (not good when you're at work). But, I can say that it's nice to be able to identify with others who are in the same situation or who have experienced what I have not yet experienced and I can trust the advice that is offered and I'm willing to take it. Sorry this is long but I want to give you some background. Lots of incidents and not really worth mentioning since I'm sure you've all been there. Held an intervention in June and he ended up trying to leave...we called the police and he blew a .274. I refused to care for him so they took him to detox for 4 days. I had a bed for him at a very well known treatment facility and he said he'd go. He never did. Most recently spent an entire day at the ER which showed he has an enlarged liver and is not producing platelets. The next day he was on his second drink by 10:00 a.m. I told him to choose. He chose the booze...surprise. I chickened out and a few weeks passed. I talked to him about it again, gave him an ultimatum and told him I would see an attorney. Again, he chose the liquor and when I said I would retain an attorney to protect me and our daughter, he said he understood. He currently drinks a 1.75 of vodka in two days. Mornings are great but after about 2:00 p.m. I can't talk to him because he's a jerk. We have a 3 year old daughter and I'm afraid of what I'm teaching her. He is filing for bankruptcy (I'm not). Everyday stinks...I dread if he's home when I get there or when I see his truck pull in the drive. He always looks like he's in pain, his eyes are always bloodshot, he's bruising easily, doesn't eat and is probably down to 180 pounds if not less. He's 6'0 and hasn't been that weight since high school. He looks terrible and showers about every other day. I know he didn't believe that I saw an attorney and one night I got up the gumption to tell him. He looked shock...I stayed calm. The next morning, I'm sure he didn't remember or believe me because we're back to 'normal'. OK...all of that and my question is simple. Maybe not a question but more of the fact that I need a pep talk. My Marital Termination Agreement draft will be getting to me today and my attorney is awarding me everything since he won't be able to pay child support. For those of you who have left an AS...what gave you the gumption? I KNOW I can't live like this forever and my daughter deserves a healthy dad and happy mom but I'm scared to death of what he'll do. I have a great support system, my poor dad is going nuts and my brother is even willing to help me get a townhouse. WHY OH WHY is this SO HARD?? I'm so sorry everyone for how long this is. I think I've bottled it up for so long that I have a lot to say. Trust me...this post could have been much longer!! I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully helping someone else out if I can't help myself.