Hi Mandjas,
The 'setting and maintaining boundaries' process is tough - it goes against all of the habits you have learned while living with a drinking parent, all those good human instincts that are twisted into enablers of drinking by this disease.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandjas  I scratch my head sometimes as to what I am thinking and feeling the things that I do. |
Oh, yes - my AF excelled at turning any argument into a calibration of one's fitness to live on this planet, and was especially vicious if the discussion touched on his mistakes. And any discussion with my AM about her drinking resulted in a feeling of despair and hopelessness that can only be described as soul-sucking. No discussion of drinking went
anywhere.
That is the way of the disease and that is why alanon and this forum exist.
I have also found that the alanon program sometimes opens up doors of denial and turns the light on for places of our mind that are uncomfortable. Feelings come up and old rationalizations and thought patterns are shown to be very unhealthy. The program can bring you down sometimes but it is necessary to build up a healthier perspective. Self-knowledge isn't always good news. That's why you have to keep up with the meetings (and posting and journaling).
You are doing a great job so far - keep it up.
