[grewupinabarn]

Welcome usedupdaughter to our little corner.

The detachment process is difficult but neccessary. In alcoholic families the disease works itself into everyone around the alcoholic, making them into servants of addiction. What you are feeling is the addiction talking to you and working on your weak points, not your mom.

Have you taken your son along to Alanon meetings or asked him to read some of the books you have read? Since he is a family member affected by alcoholism he would gain much from attending a meeting or two. Maybe he should go alone so as to see for himself how others have learned to deal with addiction. Both he and you might also attend an Open AA meeting and see what the recovery process looks like from the inside. I attend one periodically and it strengthens my own recovery from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents.

Read through the stickies at the top of this forum to get some more info. I have also found it helpful to read some of the stickies and forums (here and other web sites).
Take care and remember progress takes patience.