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If you could do it perfectly, you'd go no contact with him immediately to protect yourself and start moving forward. I don't know if I've heard of someone who's done it perfectly though.
I really understand the pain that you are going through though. You want to ask, why, why, why? But you'll never get that answer from him. Just come here and we'll hug you and tell you that you're going to be OK. Keep doing all that stuff you've been doing for yourself.
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