Quote:
Originally Posted by beaglenut  I understand his decision. He was using for 30 years before he got clean. He can't use again ever I respect that. |
When I read this it seemed to me like you were drawing a difference between you and him. It almost seems like you might still be holding onto the chance that you can use again, and in fact do while relapsing.
Like the other poster said it is about admitting you are powerless. I am not in AA but basically doing the first step of AA started my journey to true sobriety. Really accepting that I was powerless was a true struggle and one that lasted a couple of years. So yeah, I was on step one for two maybe three years. I don't know what really made it click but thank god it did.
The other thing is that new relationships whether with an addict or not can only complicate things. Recovery is really about cultivating a new relationship with yourself. I think that is probably why there is the common suggestion of no new things in the first year. It sounds like you have a good plan on going back home to get into treatment. Good luck and take care of yourself!