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Thank-you Carol for being so supportive. I have, and still am considering AA, it's just such a major step for me (I'm "well known" here, because of running a business, it's almost a given that I'll run into people that know me and had no idea I'm such a "mess" ) Yes, I guess it's shame, I can't get past that, my pride won't shut-up. Something else I wanted to mention/ask, and I realize this sounds so vain, in light of things, as we all know, alcoholism can cause so many health problems, and ultimately death....but I'm going to say this anyway because I feel I won't be judged here. A major cause of my depression,(almost giving up sometimes) is the premature aging/weight gain caused by less than 4 years of drinking. It's horrible. I started drinking at 40 yrs old, the first few months I was buying alcohol, I was carded! Nobody would sell me alcohol if I didn't show my ID! I was in the best shape of my life, had always taken care of myself, probally looked 15 years younger than I was. Sadly enough, I'm mid 40's now, and I look at LEAST that. ;O( How do you get past the damage already done and find that peace within yourself to just accept it and move foreward? Drinking never got ugly for me, so, I really can't say I have horrible regrets with "others" caused by drinking, thank God, and I feel for others that have to deal with that. I just get so down about the damage already caused to myself that sometimes I say the heck with it damage it done. ;O( It's awful. I know this seems petty, but for a woman, it really isn't.....! (otherwise anti-aging wouldn't be a multi-million dollar business right? LOL. And I also realize the internal damage could be much worse then the external, I have not gotten my bloodwork done yet. Thank-you, all of you, I'm sticking around for the long run.
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