Thinking about it, now I have apparently been sober 619 days I am, as it says in the,'Big Book' a,'real alcoholic, a term much dis paraged at A.A. meetings in the North West of England, apparently it's felt to be to,'American' which in truth is a load of rubbish! So why am I a ,'real alcoholic' ? Whilst some people may become heavy drinkers or even alcohol dependent I'm a real alcoholic because when I take alcohol it instantly makes everything alright! Bang! It instantly fills the hole inside me and erases all doubts, fears, feelings of inadequacy, whatever. No matter that my mind and body are different than a,'normal social' drinker, which is bad enough in itself, the effect on me is of such euphoria, I can be ME!!!! Of course I'm not me, in my sobriety I'm only just begining to learn to be me, despite my three careers, two stints at University, one whilst I was still drinking in my 55th year, the 2nd one was done to see if I could still produce extended writing. Without doubt then my biggest success is my sobriety and my daily efforts to pursue it by making spiritual progress.
