[Wolfchild]

Is it reasonable to move ahead with this without dealing with the harm caused in the past first? Is it practical to go with this opportunity considering the way you already feel about it? It seems as if you have already given yourself a word of caution about this and know what may be involved in this course of action. i would encourage you to inventory the changes in either of your personalities and to examine if either of you are better able to have a loving and caring relationship.

i was involved with someone in our local fellowship, who i thought had a strong recovery, who i believed would be a good partner. After time went by, we discovered that there were problems with her ability to love and be loved. She made a choice to move out to "work on herself" and i hoped that she would learn & grow from the difficulties she had created in our relationship. After about two months of seeing each other, i saw evidence that nothing had really changed at all. In fact, she shared with me that her recovery was weakening because she wasn't putting in any effort or following the suggestions from her sponsor. i chose to end my participation in the relationship for my own well being. Through abstinance of not seeing her, calling her, or asking about her, i was able to recover from the harm caused and to strengthen my ability to forgive others.