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Someone please tell me, Why don't I feel any relief? What do I feel so scared inside after doing that? Why do I feel like crying?
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Because that was his intent by leaving you that self-pitying message.
I struggled through a few of those myself after I went N/C. My emotions could get whipped up into a dark frenzy by one of those calls.
Breathe, L2L. It may take a few days to regain your hard-fought serenity, but you will get it back.
Nothing has changed since yesterday. Nothing. He is still the man he was before. And you are still capable of the same joy you felt today. These mental waves are just bumps caused by manipulation rocking your boat. He pulled you back into the poison...temporarily.
You will heal again, I promise. Just keep doing what you've been doing. Small steps in the right direction, and no contact.
And by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
