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sphalerite · 10-20-2009, 01:26 PM

Congrats Anew! How was your first meeting?

I remember mine a month ago--I was TERRIFIED. I had known for years that they held them twice a week just up the road from where I live. I could never get up the courage to get to one though--even though I was pretty desperate to change my life. I live in a very small town, and was very nervous of who I might see there, or who might see me...
I finally came to the point where I sucked it up and went. It helped a lot that my husband was willing to go along with me, but it was still frightening.
I was just off a very bad detox, and on some meds to help me out--so I was a little fuzzy, but I remember walking into the room and there being only about 10 other people there--all quite a lot older than I am, and all male! We sat down and listened and as they read 'The Promises' near the beginning of the meeting I couldn't hold it any longer, and burst into tears. Talk about mortifying! I left the room to collect myself, and let me tell you it was pretty hard to walk back in there. I'm sure if my husband had not been there I would have bolted!

Turns out everyone was SO nice. It was a step meeting, and they started over at step one just because we were newcomers...I could relate to what a lot of those people had to say (even though most of them were at least 20 years my senior with anywhere from 10-27 years of sobriety!!)

Hubby and I have kept going back. We really like hanging out with our new sober friends (we never had any of those before!), and at almost every meeting I attend I can take something away that helps me.

Sorry for the AA ramble, I am having a really rough day, and for the first time today (while writing this) have felt a little bit of relief.

Bdiddy--I have had that happen. A lot. For me it was related to panic attacks (that occurred more and more frequently as my drinking got worse. They would be one of my first signals of withdrawal). Not sure if yours are the same, but it is always a good idea to talk to your doctor when you are worried about your heart...

10-20-2009, 01:26 PM	#103 (permalink)
sphalerite Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: up north Posts: 99	Congrats Anew! How was your first meeting? I remember mine a month ago--I was TERRIFIED. I had known for years that they held them twice a week just up the road from where I live. I could never get up the courage to get to one though--even though I was pretty desperate to change my life. I live in a very small town, and was very nervous of who I might see there, or who might see me... I finally came to the point where I sucked it up and went. It helped a lot that my husband was willing to go along with me, but it was still frightening. I was just off a very bad detox, and on some meds to help me out--so I was a little fuzzy, but I remember walking into the room and there being only about 10 other people there--all quite a lot older than I am, and all male! We sat down and listened and as they read 'The Promises' near the beginning of the meeting I couldn't hold it any longer, and burst into tears. Talk about mortifying! I left the room to collect myself, and let me tell you it was pretty hard to walk back in there. I'm sure if my husband had not been there I would have bolted! Turns out everyone was SO nice. It was a step meeting, and they started over at step one just because we were newcomers...I could relate to what a lot of those people had to say (even though most of them were at least 20 years my senior with anywhere from 10-27 years of sobriety!!) Hubby and I have kept going back. We really like hanging out with our new sober friends (we never had any of those before!), and at almost every meeting I attend I can take something away that helps me. Sorry for the AA ramble, I am having a really rough day, and for the first time today (while writing this) have felt a little bit of relief. Bdiddy--I have had that happen. A lot. For me it was related to panic attacks (that occurred more and more frequently as my drinking got worse. They would be one of my first signals of withdrawal). Not sure if yours are the same, but it is always a good idea to talk to your doctor when you are worried about your heart...